Baroness von Barrenness

Girls Gone Wild!

I never did the spring break thing in college. Never went to Florida. Never went to Mexico. Never went to Mardi Gras or did a keg stand or flashed my boobies at random boys. And I never had a meaningless one-night stand. Well, I tried, but I'm married to him now so I don't think it counts.

But my girlfriends and I are going to Mexico for spring break this year. Woo hoo! The hotel rooms are booked. The flights are booked. Okay -- MY flight is booked. (M. and I were trying to book our flights at the same time so we could get seats next to each other. It seems as soon as I hit the "Purchase Now" button I bought the last ticket for that price group and the rate jumped up $150. Suck!)

Anyway, I can guarantee there will STILL be no beer bingeing, no wet t-shirt contests and no random hook-ups -- at least not for me. But there's bound to be some great quality time with my friends, some serious relaxation, a little snorkeling (I hope), no sunburn (I pray), major slaughtering of the Spanish language and a few margaritas nonetheless. ¡Ixtapa, aquí venimos!

-The Barrenness

Our arboreal warzone

Mr. Barrenness and I live in a city with a lot of trees - so many that it's nicknamed "Tree Town." (Gentlemen, start your Googling!) One of the reasons we became so enamored with our neighborhood is that all the streets are lined with 50-year old trees and sidewalks leading to the elementary school in the middle of it. In the summer these great ash, maple and locusts offer welcome shade. In the autumn they turn gorgeous colors and drop all their leaves on our evil neighbor's yard and drive her ape-shit. We love it!

I recently read an estimate that 15% of the city's street trees are ash. In our neighborhood they account for more like 65%. So you can imagine how hard we've been hit by an infestation of emerald ash borer beetles the past couple years. We noticed trees dying in the summer of 2004. In 2005 it was far more obvious -- the trees just didn't have leaves. There were big, bare branches overhanging the sidewalks, scrubby shoots sprouting up around the bases, bark falling off and tiny D-shaped holes bored in the trunks if you looked closely enough.

Nothing can be done to save the trees that are infested, and the only way to try and stop the spread is to cut down the infested trees and run them through the chipper. Our county has been in quarantine, and if you drive up north to the more rural areas you'll pass billboards reminding you not to travel with firewood because you might spread the insects.

Our city has started systematically removing the trees, and they've finally made it around to our neighborhood. Already this week they've taken down trees on two streets just off of ours. I've walked and driven down these streets, and the character of them has changed completely. They just look so empty. I'm really not looking forward to the day, which I know will come in the next couple weeks, when I'll turn onto my street and see that all those trees are gone.

But if there's anything good to come out of it - at least Mr. Barrenness and I won't have to listen to our neighbor bitch and complain about all the leaves on her lawn. I hope she's happy.

-The Barrenness

Day 27

Today's stats:

• 135 pounds
• 8 oz green tea
• 24 oz water
• instant oatmeal (yuck!)
• breakfast bar (mmm!)
• Pasta Fazool
• 1 banana

I see London, I see France!

I took the dog for a walk yesterday after work. He stopped to sniff something on the sidewalk that I knew wasn't there when I'd passed by 2 milliseconds before him. It was a pair of my underwear! They must have been stuck to my coat when I pulled it out of the dryer Monday. I grabbed them up off the sidewalk and stuffed them into my pocket and just kept walking.

Thank god I'd worn a different jacket out in public most of the week, but I know I've worn this coat to walk the dog multiple times. I have no idea if the underwear was on the inside or the outside. Thank god, too, it was a black pair (on a black coat) instead of a red or pink pair!!!

-The Barrenness

Day 26

Today's stats:

• 135 pounds
• 60 oz water
• 12 oz decaf coffee
• 16 oz almond steamer
• breakfast bar
• 2 bananas
• sandwich (turkey, bacon, Munster, mayo)
• 1/4 cup mixed nuts
• Pasta Fazool
• walk 2.5 miles

Hmmm...a development?

I just remembered that when J. was bringing up a draft copy of the job description on his laptop yesterday, I saw a folder labeled with a woman's name and "resume." So of course I Googled the name along with the job title.

Sure enough -- I got some results for someone who is probably real competition and not just someone from "purchasing." So why didn't J. and D. mention her yesterday? Maybe she ended up not being interested in the position? Maybe she's asking for more money than I'm asking for? Or maybe they've already interviewed her? (Although that wouldn't really fit in with J.'s statement that he's 99% certain they'll offer me the job.)

Anyway -- here comes the part where I realize I may not have it in the bag, and I spend the next week fretting that maybe I will be stuck working here until the fateful day when, my ears really will start bleeding from the sound of the white noise generator, and I realize I can't take it anymore and gouge my eyes out. Okay - that was an exaggeration. But I really don't want to be here any longer.

-The Barrenness

Day 25

Today's stats:

• 134.5 pounds
• 8 oz green tea
• 64 oz water
• breakfast bar
• sandwich - turkey, bacon, Munster and far too much mayo
• banana
• granola bar
• 8 oz herbal tea
• ? oz Bloody Mary
• calamari
• bruschetta (one with tomato/basil/olive oil, one with white bean dip, one with a creamy goat cheese or something)
• salad w/ Gorgonzola, walnuts and vinaigrette
• tiramisu
• walk 3 miles

Oh! And how could I forget?

I almost forgot! I was checking out the two health insurance plans I could choose from for this new position. One is an HMO, but it offers 50% coverage for infertility consultation and treatment (excluding in vitro). How cool is that?!? I also checked, and the doctor we got a second opinion from in Chicago is in the network. Very exciting!

-The Barrenness

The Interview

Well hot dang! I got a call on Monday asking me to come in for a job interview Tuesday at 11am. So I called in sick yesterday. (How convenient that I'd been telling my co-workers on Monday that Mr. Barrenness was sick. Never mind that we've been on separate continents since Saturday!)

I met with J. from the consulting company and D. from the client site, and it went well! I can't even believe that simply updating my resume on Monster may have led to a cold-call from an employer hiring for the exact position I was looking for. How does that happen?!? (No, I am not a shill for Monster.)

I know they're interviewing two more people next week, so they'll make their decision shortly after that. J. said that the other two people they're interviewing are coming from the purchasing department. (Purchasing?!? For a web development position?!?). So he's 99% sure they'll make me an offer. Woo hoo!

And all I could think Monday, as I was sitting back at my desk after a lovely week long vacation which should have been refreshing and rejuvenating, was how I couldn't take it anymore and needed to get out of there. Which may also be the reason I'm updating my blog in the middle of the workday today.

There is one drawback to the new position -- a one-hour commute each way. I'm so spoiled right now with my current job in terms of location. Mr. Barrenness and I both work so close to home and to each other's offices that we only own one car and drive to work together. It's been a pretty good arrangement for the past four years. And whenever we pass the highway entrance ramp at 5:15 and see the backup, we usually thank our lucky stars out loud that we don't have to put up with THAT mess.

But, assuming I get an offer at the end of next week, I think it may be time to join "the real world" of commuters. And buy a second car. Any recommendations?

-The Barrenness

The Kindness of Co-Workers

Mr. Barrenness and I are lucky that we both work with some pretty nice people. He does note sometimes how weird it is for him to work with a group of mostly middle-aged women, having to hear about menopause and hot flashes and whatnot. But for the most part, they've really taken him under their wings and taken good care of him. They all look out for me, too, knowing how his busy travel schedule can get old pretty quickly.

Anyway, over the past couple months we've been telling various people, including our co-workers, about our infertility and IVF. Mr. Barrenness said that he had told one of his co-workers, S, about what we'd been going through. He said he explained without going into too many details what the problem seemed to be (egg quality), and - I still can't get over this - she replied, "Oh. So I couldn't even carry for you."

OH MY GOD. I know this will probably sound weird or creepy to someone who doesn't know her. Let me be perfectly clear: this is NOT in the least bit creepy. This was the sweetest thing. So thoughtful and generous, without S seeming to even bat an eyelash.

Sometimes I just can't believe there are people like this in the world, much less in our lives.

-The Barrenness